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Everyone knows someone like the person I’m about to describe. I’m talking about the person who you can never get to go to social events, who always has some kind of excuse as to why they can’t go. This may even be you already, or you are at least slipping that way. The general rule seems to be that the older you get the less you can be bothered – and you are in fact turning into a ‘boring old person’, going against all the commitments you made not to do so when you were younger. It seems a lot easier to just stay in and watch a film than it is to go out somewhere, especially after a long day at work.

Theres an easy way to avoid this, which I call the ‘Why Not’ rule. Whenever someone invites you to something and you start to feel that resistance to it, you will invariably start to come up with an excuse as to why you can’t go. What you need to do is stop at this point, and start asking yourself Why Not? Is this a legitimate reason, or is it just that I can’t be bothered? Once you’ve gone through all the possible reasons you can’t go and examined them, you will either be left with a legitimate reason or you will be left with no reason. If you are left with no reason then get your backside out of the house!

This isn’t to say that you should reply yes to every request, sometimes we do just need to recharge on our own. What you should do is set a level which you think is reasonable, say agreeing to 50% of requests, and stick to it. Very few people can manage with no time to themselves, so don’t go too far the other way.

When coming up with reasons for and against, a valid reason can be anything from other arrangements to not being able to afford it. Invalid reasons are things like theres something on the TV you want to watch (can’t you record it?) or you are too tired (unless you are falling asleep on your feet, you will wake up once you get there) – if you are making these kinds of reasons then you are straying into the realm of the boring old person.

So what is so wrong about being a boring old person? The first thing that happens is that you just stop getting invited to things, why bother since you will just say no? As a result of that you don’t have as many opportunities to see your friends, you fall out of touch and eventually all those close friends you had become acquaintances, and eventually forget you. I have seen this happen to people. The other problem with it is that if you don’t go out, how are you going to meet new people and try new things? Just try saying yes a few times, it will be worthwhile.